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What I'd really like to talk about is something more important.  These children.  These children. . .must be stopped!!!  No one should have to suffer the pain and the torture of sitting for them!
--4th Annual Babysitter Academy Awards
 
Amy, you can't go!  I dont even know what you just said to me.
--Adopt-A-Pet
 
You get rid of King Kong.  Amy is gonna leave when she sees a gorilla, and I'm gonna be repeating the 11th grade.
--Adopt-A-Pet
 
JC- "Is that Amy"
Justin- "Well if it is, she needs to shave!"
--Adopt-A-Pet
 

JC - I never really liked you.

Lindsey - Your ears are too big.

JC - I broke your glasses and blamed your brother.

Lindsey - Your friends think you stink at football.

JC  - I was at a Bulls game with the guys the night of your birthday party.

Lindsey - I hate your mothers cooking.

JC - I pick my nose.

Lindsey - I know.
--Confession
 

JC - Kind of young for brain cells.

Matt - Pretty young.
--Fort Brain Driving Test
 

JC - Last week the kid and his pal ambushed us with a super-secret heat ray.

Matt - A super-secret heat ray?

JC - Big magnifying glass.  Melted three guys into a big pink blob.
--G.I. George
 
They should test us out on a bunch of kids pumped up on cartoons and too much sugar.
--G.I. George
 

JC - Wait!  I got an idea.  How about we go to the football game in the woods?

Matt - Well, who's playin?

JC - Well, who else?  The bears!
--Goldilocks and the Three Bear Stooges
 
You're lucky I'm even out here.  It's 132 degrees in this thing, and I'm melting.
--Jungle Time with Safari Sam
 
She was checkin' out the pecks all night baby!"
--Last Dating Game
 
Since when did you start dating kindergartners?
--Megabyte Matchmakers
 

JC - Dump this diaper boy, and let's go to the movies now!

Justin - Look, Buddy.  In case you didn't hear my girlfriend, she said you're not welcome here, comprende?

JC - Oh, yeah, comprende. I comprende that I'm gonna twist your body into a coat hanger.
--Megabyte Matchmakers
 

JC - Look, I didn't have my arm around Ginger. I had a cramp.  I was just stretching out.

Rhona - For 45 minutes, Roger?

JC - It. . .it was a bad cramp.
--Megabyte Matchmakers
 
Natalie...look...you're gonna have to keep it down. I have a concussion."
--Natalie Know-It-All Noozle
 
"Natalie! Don't touch my food!"
--Natalie Know-It-All Noozle
 
Wait, your staving.  I'm starving.  Besides lesser guys then us have survived this.
--Natalie Know-It-All Noozle Cafeteria
 
Estimated arrival time 11:40 p.m.  Great!  So, that means I still have time to fill up the pool with Jell-O and invite the guys over for a belly flop contest.
--Parent Alarm
 
Ok, Woodchucks, listen up!  I'm Woody, a first degree Woodchuck, and today I'm gonna be helping you get your Beaver Badge in Woodworking. Now the first thing you need to do is. . .(JC leans on the counter but falls) . . .push ups.  I always start with a couple of pushups to loosen up. You know you gotta stay fit for those power tools.
--Woodchuck Woodworking Class
 
Now today we are gonna be building a birdhouse.  Cute, isn't it?  I mean, can't you just imagine a little whippoorwill in there, kind of sittin in the easy chair, kind of checkin out a few Woody Woodpecker cartoons and scarfin down a few worms.
--Woodchuck Woodworking Class
 
"Oh, ceramics...Gee, that's real important. I mean, you never know when you're gonna be stranded on an island...and ya have to make your own PLATES!"
--Woodchuck Woodworking Class

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