We never choked when we were throat cells.
--Fort Brain Driving Test
We can't rest. Our beds could collapse at any moment, so we try to sleep standing up.
--Fraidy Bunch
This isn't a purse. Its a pack on my back. Its a backpack.
--Great Moments in Teen History
You walk the dog this morning, and I'll roll over your IRA into tax-free municipal bonds that haven't even hit the market yet.
--Howser Kids Night
You empty your trash can and a couple of months later you have to empty it again. That sounds like a bunch of garbage to me.
--Room Improvement
Here to help as always is my good friend, Norm Im-definitely-passing-Spanish-this-year Naylor.
--Room Improvement
Ryan- "Why didn't you just let go?"
Tony- "Let go! Did you just say let go?"
Ryan- "I did"
Tony- "And I suppose you thinks it's that simple? What if your right hand doesn't know what your left hand is doing?"
--Self Defense Class
He has about as much brains as a bowling ball, and girls find him about as attractive as a zit on prom night.
--The McCullen Report
Sources say Gina is a conceited snob and has lizard breath.
--The McCullen Report
I'm not too big on Woody Woodpecker cartoons, but those worms, they sound great!
--Woodchuck Woodworking Class
